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Joe Torre Should Remain in Los Angeles

With no shortage of Dodger fans puttering around the blogosphere and Conquest Chronicles, I'm sure many of you are already aware of the fact that Joe Torre will step down as manager of the Blue Crew at the end of the season and will be replaced by Don Mattingly in 2011. So I strongly suspect that I'm not really breaking any news, which means we can now all now speculate as to his managerial future instead.

Will he return to the Big Apple to save Omar Minaya's job? Unlikely. Minaya's already toast. What about leaving for the Windy City to manage the Cubs? Also unlikely. Wrigley isn't worth all that hassle. Plus, they're still cursed, right? So, obviously, there is only one possible destination for Torre, and that is staying in Southern California, to manage our very own USC Trojans.

Do I sound crazy? Most definitely. But here's why should Torre leave the professional ranks for collegiate baseball.

1.) Logistically, it makes sense. He's already living in Los Angeles, and he has a home in Hawaii as well. Why depart for an entirely new part of the country, especially when you can remain in the City of Angels?

2.) USC is still USC. It's a very powerful place. Well, that's what Lane Kiffin told me.

3.) Mike Garrett is no longer here.

4.) To reemphasize: Mike Garrett is no longer the athletic director at the University of Southern California.

5.) Subsequently, working under Pat Haden is infinitely better than working under Frank McCourt.

6.) At USC, there will never be payroll issues, and nobody will ever be reluctant to spend money on top-flight talent.

7.) Mark Prior used to play at 'SC and nobody has ever had better sideburns than Prior. Not even Joe Mauer.

8.) Unless you consider Daily Trojan reporters to be hounding, Torre won't have to deal with a hostile press. Yankees problem fixed.

9.) Philadelphia doesn't feature a prominent college hardball team so there shouldn't be an issue in leading the Trojans to the College World Series. Dodgers Problem #1 fixed.

10.) The higher-ups in Heritage Hall won't force him to take on any clinically insane left fielders. Dodgers Problem #2 fixed.

Well, I guess I'm pretty convincing. The introductory press conference should be next week.