Rick Neuheisel sits in his office, furiously working up plays for the weekend rivalry game. His phone rings...
Hello?
Hey Coach Neuheisel, it's me, former USC wide receiver and ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson!
Uh, that's nice, I guess. I'm kind of busy, is there something I can do for you right now?
I was wondering what you thought about this tie.
Okay, I don't have time for these time wasting pranks.
I'm just kidding. So, how's the monopoly busting going? You guys getting ready for a bowl game?
Hey, at least we _could_ have gone. [mumbles, "jackass."]
So you really don't like the tie? Anyway, you and I both know that this rivalry is always better when both teams are good, so I figured I would help you out.
Frankly I'm having a hard time believing that.
No, for real, check out my serious tie. Look, we've got some scholarship caps for the next couple of years, and it means there are some kids SC likes that they just can't sign. I figured you might be interested...
[Sits up straight, grabs "Monopoly is over" note pad] Keep talking!
I don't even need to talk these kids up - they are going to bring some strength, resolve, and spirit to the Bruins. You can tell just by looking at them. Check your Blackberry, I just sent you their picture.
I'm looking now...
On Neuheisel's phone screen:
Okay that's not funny.
My tie says otherwise. Okay, maybe that wasn't so cool. I was a little worried that you might be upset, so I pulled some ESPN strings and had a poster shipped over for your office. You see the box yet?
Well, it was a little childish, but it's nice that you thought to send me something. It's been kind of a hard season. Let me just open that up:
Sonofa....
With thanks to FRAK who provided the poster photoshop that inspired the rest of it.