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From the Call Logs of UCLA Football...

Rick Neuheisel sits in his office, furiously working up plays for the weekend rivalry game. His phone rings...

Neu_happy_medium Hello?

Key_asking_medium Hey Coach Neuheisel, it's me, former USC wide receiver and ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson!

Neu_happy_medium Uh, that's nice, I guess. I'm kind of busy, is there something I can do for you right now?

Key_tie_medium I was wondering what you thought about this tie.

Neu_happy_medium Okay, I don't have time for these time wasting pranks.

Key_asking_medium I'm just kidding. So, how's the monopoly busting going? You guys getting ready for a bowl game?

Neu_happy_medium Hey, at least we _could_ have gone. [mumbles, "jackass."]

Key_tie_medium So you really don't like the tie? Anyway, you and I both know that this rivalry is always better when both teams are good, so I figured I would help you out.

Neu_happy_medium Frankly I'm having a hard time believing that.

Key_asking_medium No, for real, check out my serious tie. Look, we've got some scholarship caps for the next couple of years, and it means there are some kids SC likes that they just can't sign. I figured you might be interested...

Neu_happy_medium [Sits up straight, grabs "Monopoly is over" note pad] Keep talking!

Key_asking_medium I don't even need to talk these kids up - they are going to bring some strength, resolve, and spirit to the Bruins. You can tell just by looking at them. Check your Blackberry, I just sent you their picture.

Neu_happy_medium I'm looking now...

On Neuheisel's phone screen:


Neu_frustrated_medium Okay that's not funny.

Key_tie_medium My tie says otherwise. Okay, maybe that wasn't so cool. I was a little worried that you might be upset, so I pulled some ESPN strings and had a poster shipped over for your office. You see the box yet?

Neu_happy_medium Well, it was a little childish, but it's nice that you thought to send me something. It's been kind of a hard season. Let me just open that up:


Neu_frustrated_medium Sonofa....


With thanks to FRAK who provided the poster photoshop that inspired the rest of it.