USC's Lane Kiffin Needs a Cooler Seat

If you're looking for Boston Creme donuts, there are none. Lane Kiffin is sitting on them, just for temporary relief.

Watching this interview conducted by WeAreSC, never in available memory have I witnessed a coach's hot seat personified at such an excruciating degree. You can clearly see on his face and in his demeanor that the man is getting a lot of sun. I was waiting for a gust of California wind to pass by, give him a hug, and put the bruised and berated Trojans figurehead out of his misery.

This isn't to say that Kiffin does not deserve burnt britches after last year's 7-6 meltdown - and while I believe he warrants at least two more seasons to effectively assess his recruiting classes, I'm not hard-pressed to be persuaded if Pat Haden released the vicious man-eating pink-slip lion come December - but after sanctions uprooting his visors early, votes of confidence held at gunpoint, and decades of oral surgeons informing Lane's parents that he will never smile again, someone please give this guy an icepack and some froyo.


I've approved of the move from Big Balls Pete to Stiff for Kiff up until this point. Coming from a stylistically Arrogant real estate owner, I was growing tired of the annual WTF Pancake loss to a cream puff Oregon State or FUCLA derailing our BCS aspirations and cockiness. For whatever Kiffin lacked in player and media relations, he was supposed to compensate for it with military accountability on and off the field. Then again, Small Dick Pete was still winning the other 10 or 11 games.

Nonetheless, the potential for greatness has not tapped out yet. USC was not supposed to suffer defeat at the mercy of Georgia Tech in the Sun Bowl, but they also were not intended to finish No. 6 in the AP poll with a 10-2 record the campaign prior.

As eluded to, the backfield is primed and loaded with Silas Redd and company like it hasn't been in a while (so long as depth remains deep and healthy...sorry Silas). Marqise Lee is worse than few offensive weapons throughout the entire nation (so long as Nelson Agholor emerges and someone unlatches the screen pass doors). As open as America's Spirit of Troy loves its practices and campus and diaries and piggy banks to be (ANYONE can walk in!), a dimmed spotlight and diminished expectations behind closed doors should do us some good.

Ideally, our starting quarterback and secondary rotation would be settled upon by now. Preferably, the Pac-12 would allow enough contact drills so that the Trojans can learn how to tackle. Hopefully, Kiffin reminded his kicking specialists that they were invited to suit up and practice.

All of that being said, 2012 was a collaborative failure due to injuries, play of the actually players, and quite frankly too high of a preseason ranking in hindsight, as well as the shortcomings of the head coach. Let's not abort Kiffin's philosophy and side too swiftly. I only predict a 6-7 season simply so that we instead go at least 10-4.

If anything, someone please rescue Lane Kiffin with a trip to Disneyland, before USC Dole Whips Hawaii at the end of next month.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Conquest Chronicles' writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Conquest Chronicles' writers or editors.

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