Tired of Reggie this, OJ that? [update]

Seriously, now! Have we been kept BUSY these past couple-a days with Reggie Bush & OJ Mayo, or what? This whole "jointly investigated" drama of verrry little comedy prolly has the "Terminator-2 edition of Everyready" batteries. What else can possibly keep this player-hating offensive going for so long? (Liquid Nitrogen! and how soon is now?) I think it's transmorgifying into some sort of highly infectious influenza strain? People are getting hit "hard" with it. Suffice it to say, it is practically an acute illness deeply affecting ALL Saturday-bigscreen quarterbacks and Sunday no-church sanctimony-istas! (SANK-TEH-MONE-NEESTAS) Feminine! That's right, because they all SURE DO sound like girls! To be sure. . . .girls = good. . . girls must= female kind. . . however. . .football-girls?. . . they just plain BIG!. . . and THAT, just ain't right. . .(off-topic alert/no not again sign "on")

However, much needed relief is upon us all.


"Mine that Bird" for "Rachel Alexandra" That's right! The Preakness Stakes. The 134th new and improved edition.If you ask me,  they really shoulda spelled it "Rachael"! 'cause i'm retarded like that. 

Here's a few lines from the Fightin' Rash's very best-Bill Dwyre of the LA Times. His Saturday 5/14 column was nearly majestic:

"Calvin Borel is a hick from Louisiana, and we mean that in the kindest way. He comes from Catahoula Parish, population 10,000, and even if he doesn't live there now, he never really left.

He is 116 pounds of bouncy energy. He smiles through the good days and the bad. Also through gaps where teeth used to be."

The venerable Mr. Dwyre then adds some flavor quoting Bob Baffert. Right, THAT Baffert dude! "On Derby Day, my wife, Jill, bet the early Pick Three and had it pretty much locked in. In the first race, one of our fillies, Mother Ruth, should win and is in good shape until some guy gets by on the rail. It's Calvin.

"So she says to me that that has happened to her before with this guy and he's starting to tick her off. And she says that we better watch him in the Derby, so he doesn't do the same thing to our horse.

"I laugh and tell her not to worry, that he is riding a 100-1 shot or something, and that's not going to happen."

Flash forward to the Derby, with Baffert's Pioneerof The Nile powering into the lead on the homestretch and looking good. A TV crew has followed Baffert and is taping, as Borel zips to the rail and rockets past everybody else, like one of those Stealth bombers, arriving out of nowhere. "The guys back in the TV truck had a great old time listening to me," Baffert says. "I forgot the camera was there. I forgot everything. None of what they got was usable, of course."

This here Louisiana-manboy is a right lad among the Lads!

Mr. Dwyre continues his affections for Calvin Bo-rail in this: "He did the same thing to win the Derby on Street Sense in 2007, and after that one, the media reconstructed his ride as if they were John Madden, drawing up the perfect buttonhook.

Stevens even thinks Borel's best Derby ride may have been last year, when he threaded the needle down the stretch with Denis of Cork and got third place.

Here's a crazy notion! Don't allow that Calvin boy to prance on over to the rail at super-sonic speed! Check that cat, mark him good getting him to lean into the middle of the lane. ????? It's only a thought, strained through the haze of totally forgetting that I'm Bix.

So. . . . .Calvin Borel won the Preakness Stakes with Rachel Alexandra- the first filly to win against the geldings since 1924, and only the fifth victorious filly ever in 134 years of Preakness racing. "Mine That Bird", the horse Calvin rode to victory in the Kentucky Derby a few weeks ago tried closing down Rachel Alexandra, eventually settling for 2nd, with Musket Man rounding out the top 3.  

This guy!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Conquest Chronicles' writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Conquest Chronicles' writers or editors.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Conquest Chronicles

You must be a member of Conquest Chronicles to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Conquest Chronicles. You should read them.

Join Conquest Chronicles

You must be a member of Conquest Chronicles to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Conquest Chronicles. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.